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My Amazing Dominican Adventure.

      A few weeks ago I returned from my honeymoon in the beautiful Dominican Republic. The weather was great and the food was, uh... well the weather was great. Looking back on the experience I have concluded that my wife and I would have enjoyed it more if we had had the benifit of some mental preparation beforehand. It is in the spirit of this notion that I have written this article for the benfit of our readers who may be contemplating a vacation in the D.R.

Food
      Off the resort there are many different restaurants and food-huts you can try. The important thing to remember about eating out in the D.R. (and Mexico) is that the water is loaded with nutritious microbes, that would be all to happy to chain you to the can for the remainder of your stay. To avoid this kind of discomfort, stick to bottled water and food that has been cooked. Salads are often rinsed with the local water so keep them off the menu as well. It's even recomended that you brush your teeth using bottled water.

If you do catch something evil in the D.R. here is a Spanish phrase that you will need to know: ¿Donde esta el baño? (Where is the bathroom?)

After a couple days of eating resort food (lovingly prepared but woefully repetitive), you will be dying for a cheeseburger, or indeed anything that tastes familiar. What I recommend is to bring your own snack when you pack your bags. A bag of chips with a brand name you will recognize, purchased in the D.R. will set you back as much as four buck Canadian.

Language
      In the D.R. you will find that local businesses seem to use an "all or nothing" style of customer service. For instance, at the resorts you can wait at the counter or bar until your next birthday for someone to ask if they can help you, while off the resorts you can be dragged bodily off the streets into a shop by its owner. The following are a few useful phrases to get peoples' attention when they seem to be ignoring you, or brush off people who are frighteningly eager to serve you.

To deter over-zealous salesmen.
Ya tengo uno.
Translation: I already have one.

To deter over-zealous house-keeping staff (on the resorts they will keep knocking on your door until you leave the room).
tenemos bastante toellas (We have enough towels), or
no limpas mi cuarto hoy (don't clean my room today).

To deter over-zealous busboys.
ei, estoy bebiendo eso!
Translation: Hey I'm drinking that.

Driving
     The D.R. is one of the scariest places to be if you're behind the wheel. The streets are narrow and the mopeds come out of nowhere. Mopeds in th D.R. are considered a family vehicle. I have seen up to three people on one.

     A motorist taking to the rural streets of the D.R. is faced with many interesting chalenges. In the D.R. the roads are extremely snakey, and have no posted speed limits. Dominican motorists will pass other drivers in almost any circumstances. Our bus driver, while we were on tour was no exception. He would pass on bends, pass three cars at a time, and pass while roaring through towns. While all this seems dangerous, it's really is quite safe, as long as you are on the outside of the bus and behind a sturdy barrier. Whats more it can be really exciting, especially if you like going up on two wheels. For the faint of heart, I'd take some gravol just to be safe.